I couldn't believe it. I never thought this would happen but it did. I had waited years, dreaming for this moment. For the moment when he
would be holding me in the small of his arms and kissing me. But now it was happening. And I realized that I didn't want it. I didn't want him. I felt like I was drowning. He would drown me right here and now. I finally realized..He wasn't who I wanted. I wanted drew. Drew, my best friend in the world. Drew with his dark hair and shining eyes. The only one I wanted to be encasing me in his arms. How could I have been so oblivious? How could I never have realized? And at that moment, I submerged choking, gagging, from the water. I wasn't going to drown. I pushed him off. And headed for the open door. Headed for the only arms that had ever been my rescue and the only place that had ever held my heart. The only place that had ever been my home.
Jillian, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought this would happen but it did. As soon as I knew happened I churned the contents of what happened in my mind over and over again, I haven't stopped churning since. In fact the churning feeling has spread through every molecule of my body. I feel obsessive, I have come to biting my nails to they bleed, rubbing my fingers together until they become raw, not breathing until I become blue.
What else do you expect from somebody who has to deal with a death? What else do you expect from the poor pathetic girl without a boyfriend, but I don't not have a boyfriend because I am not pretty, or that I'm overweight, no, my boyfriend killed himself. Sometimes I feel if I were just a little better, if I tried a little harder, he wouldn't have, we would still be together, sometimes I feel it was all my fault.
Laurel, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would happen but it did. He reached for the gun. In the Second to top draw, underneath the red t-shirt, in the pocket of the blue jeans laid his hand gun. I knew it was there; it's always been there. I should have removed it, throw it out or dug a whole in the yard to hide it in, but I let him keep it right there in the second to top draw, underneath the red shirt, in the pocket of his blue jeans. I never thought it would happen but it did! He reached for the gun. I didn't see her at first. I only saw the shadow of a small figure in the dark room. Then I heard it...her cry. I never heard the gun shot, but I knew it happened because I heard her cry. I couldn't breath, I couldn't understand it, and everything around me just got fuzzy. I just never thought he'd do.
Becky, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would happen but it did. I became scared. Of everything. And was afraid of being scared. Of growing up and seeing people whom might not like me, and caring what they think. Seeing how comfy life was then with the added on responsibility, seeing the true shades of gray that is my reality. I couldn't believe it. I could deny it, and I could make myself sick. I could clutter things in my mind to keep from thinking. I could read this book or I could draw a picture, I could watch TV, or I could write this poem. I could continue to say, "I don't believe this, this would never happen." Or I could accept the fact that I grew up.
Emily, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would happen but it did, and it set my heart ablaze with excitement. My aunt sunk lower in her chair as I stood with my fists clenched and my jaw tight. She was speechless, but I couldn't hold it any longer. I screamed at her for all the terrible things she said about our family and her unwelcome praise of my deadbeat father. "Why are you sitting in my house saying good things about a man who beat my mother?" I screamed. "Do you ever think before you speak?" It was the first time that anyone had spoken back to her.
Marianna, Age 21
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would never happen but it did... Stan was arrested. My older brother, Stan. The one who used to hold my hand while we were crossing the street. The one who let me have his ice cream cone when I dropped mine at Michigan Adventures, five years ago. The one that said he would beat up Chucky if he ever hurt me when he took me to homecoming last year. The one who was driving home drunk and killed everyone else in the car when he totaled it by accidentally driving into the woods last night. When he said, "Seriously, Hannah, don't drink." I believed him. What the
Stephanie, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought it this would happen but it did. I was truly hearing those words. The words I had dreamt of hearing a thousands time before. The words I believed I would never hear. This time I wasn't dreaming. I was sure of this because I had just pinched my arm rather hard, and the words were still on the screen.
He actually cared. He loved me too. I spent three years by his side, his best friend, loving him secretly, doing everything humanly possible to make him happy. Now he admitted that he too dreamt of spending forever with me. This happened in cheesy romance movies. Not to me. But suddenly, I felt a lot like some silver screen goddess, leaning in for the goodnight kiss.
Jill, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would happen but it did. I was actually pregnant. Me! What do you do when you're pregnant anyway? I can't tell Mitch, though he has to be the father. He would flip, and not in a sexy way. No, I'll keep this to myself.
Christ, a baby! I've got to go get so much stuff! I know what Krista would say if she was here, "You're only two weeks pregnant, calm down." I know I really should. Oh well, there are such things as premature babies. I could give birth any second! Okay, so I'll need a stroller, and some formula, and a bottle...
Theresa, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought this would happen but it did. Lies, everything my mother told me. So many emotions were running through me, I didn't know which one to follow. Earlier that day I went through my mother's drawers to get my birth certificate. At first it looked like a normal birth certificate. My date of birth, the place and time, but what caught my eye was the signature of the parents. they weren't who I expected. Why couldn't my mother tell me I was adopted. Luckily she is dead now.
Shauna, Age 14
I couldn't believe it. I never thought that this would happen but it did... The night I called your house, worried about you, hoping I wasn't wrong about letting you go, yet knowing I was. It rang once, then twice, then-Hello? Your mom's voice crackled into my ear. I was looking for you, I was your friend, Quinn. Then the shocks rolled in. My night would be haunted of you. The guilt that had been following me over my head, would now come crashing down on my heart. Why did you do it again? Why were you in the mental ward? Did you take the pills? Or use the razor this time?
Quinntessa , Age 16